sometimes i forget i’m on medication. and i worry that coming off it will just take me back to the worst place.
The diary of a 20 year old girl living with Generalised Anxiety Disorder and bowts of depression.
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hurray for the good days! felt a bit of anxiety coming on earlier but then was like “nah man just ate my couscous too quickly” went for a walk and now i’m fine. now i’ll get back to drawing hot air balloons. yep that’s my work for today.
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Letter to your loved ones about panic attacks:
Dear Friends & Family:
There is something about me that I would like to tell you about. I suffer from panic disorder, and I am currently learning techniques that are helping me overcome it.
Panic disorders are not associated with “insanity” or are they the result of laziness, selfishness, or emotional weakness. They come from having repeated panic attacks: involuntary, frightening reactions that may either come “out of the blue” (indicative of panic disorder) or be provoked by certain situations.
These panic attacks cannot be reasoned away and often lead to avoidance of specific places or situations.
Imagine the terror you would feel if you were stuck standing in the middle of a six-lane highway with cars coming at you at one hundred miles an hour. Think of the physiological sensations you would experience: your heart would race, your muscles would tremble, and your chest would tighten and pound. You’d be weak at the knees, and break out in a cold sweat. During that split-second in which you thought you were going to be hit by a car, you would feel dizzy and disoriented-and you would certainly have an overwhelming desire to escape. All these physical sensations would come at once!
Now, imagine how you would feel if that same intensity of fear came upon you for absolutely no reason while you were standing in line to pay for your groceries, riding in an elevator, going to classes at school or just walking out of your house. Then imagine if the fear reoccurred each time you even thought about that situation. Imagine your embarrassment and humiliation if no one else felt as you do in these situations and people told you, “Don’t be silly, there is nothing wrong! That’s a scary and lonely feeling isn’t it?”
If you are fortunate enough never to have had a panic attack, I cannot expect you really to understand the fear, shame and embarrassment I suffer as a result of it. But I do ask you to believe that what I feel is very real and frightening to me.
I know this seems irrational and unrealistic. Intellectually, it seems that way to me, too-and that makes it even more difficult. In the past I have tried to hide my fear from other people because I was afraid of being ridiculed and misunderstood. But I no longer feel I have to hide behind a mask. It is a tremendous relief for me to be able to share this with you.
You can help by simply “being with me” when I am feeling panicky. Knowing that I am with someone who will not laugh at me or force me into a situation that I feel I cannot handle is a great source of comfort to me. Once that pressure is removed, I am often more able to confront the anxiety provoking situation step by step.
Knowing that I can leave a situation at any time also helps alleviate my anxiety and makes confronting my fears easier, so please allow me that option. And respect my efforts to face my fears, however small these efforts may seem.
I know that I have to face my fears to get over them, and I am being taught how to do this in a systematic way. At times, the ways in which I approach things may seem strange to you, but I am learning to use specific techniques that have helped others to cope with their panic attacks and lead normal lives.
I am excited about the positive changes that are taking place in my life, and greatly relieved to be actively working on my problem. And I am most appreciative to you for your support and understanding.Sincerely,
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- mental illness doesnt go away just because you fall in love
- if someone is ill and you want to be in a relationship with them dont expect to cure them
- their disease is not going to disappear so that you can have your happy ending
i want to tell J this before he’s freaked out when a month from now i’m still full of all my issues and insecurities
(via me-you-everyoneweknow)
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euch playing frank turner at work. just makes me feel ill.
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that 3pm dip
where i just want to go home, take off my bra, snapchat pictures of my face and cleavage to my boyfriend and lie flat on my bed until my back feels human again.
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seriously why the FUCK don’t i take my own advice? so sillllly
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last night i did my reflective report for my year out. you have to write about 1000 words about a particular project you’ve worked on on your placement year and address all 7 transferable skills that you are expected to gain this year. i just did it! productivity is the best
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